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| The Chains of Attraction is officially ready and waiting to be shipped. Today I received and inserted the DVD covers.. then I stuck the labels on the discs. I wrote a final letter to my professor and edited my last film journal. It's odd... to hold a physical end product in my hand when I think back upon the countless emails, phonecalls, and meetings, the hours of writing, filming, and editing, the frustrations and the encouragements... that have all gone into this project. It has been a rich experience and I have learned a whole lot.. not only through trial and error.. but through supportive media savvy people who were willing to volunteer their time to help me out.
While the website is already up and people have already placed orders for the DVD, I am excited to launch a brand new publicity "campaign". Specifically it is so more people will watch The Chains of Attraction and gain some attention to Turtlist Media's fund to support Asian American artists.
Most importantly, THANK YOU. THANK YOU all who have been a part of The Chains of Attraction. From the cast and crew to the musicians in its soundtrack... to those who shared their awkward dating stories while I was still writing, you are what made it all possible. There are a lot of talented people out there who are still afraid of letting their work be seen or heard by the public. And you know I really understand that... I'm very nervous about my work and realize each day that I am still just beginning. However I have been blessed by a supportive community and I hope that Turtlist Media's support of Asian Americans in the arts will one day become an outlet for Asian Americans in media to make their stuff public.. those making songs with a usb mic and garageband... the ones that take pictures with their SLRs everywhere they go... filmmakers acting in their own movies and lighting their sets with household lamps...
I am happy to be done. I'm excited to get distribution rolling. Thank you for supporting me.
Jason Lee
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| Last night I accidentally stepped on a frog. Then I buried it and placed pebbles around its grave. I named him Turtle . As a child I always mixed up Kermit the frog with a turtle. On my second day here in Quincy I have come to see that my time here has been full of confusion and moving around. I was on midshift last night (night shift). We spent most of the night hunting raccoons, muskrats, skunks, and other critters that might endanger the strength of the levee. It was my first time on an ATV which are super funzies. My left foot got soaked during our first run out and I spent the rest of the night sloshing about. By the time i showered this morning my left foot was pale and wrinkly, like a nerdy senior citizen, or... an elephant ghost. We also walked the levees checking for boils and such. We found a turtle on the sand. His left leg was missing. Then we put it back in the water. During our down time (and there was a lot of down time) we talked about each other's jobs and interests. Some slept while the rest of us messed around. One guy put sandbags in another guy's bag. Then he couldn't pick it up when we left. Strange... it seemed so much funnier at the time. All in all the night was actually generally fun. I met new people and experienced new things.
When I got back to the gym, I took a shower, ate breakfast, and walked to Walgreens to purchase another blanket. I slept till noon and was awakened by snickering. I opened my eyes and found that everyone and all their things were gone. "What the hell?!?!"I exclaimed, darting my eyes at all angles. I was welcomed by a roar of laughter from my coworkers at my unit. Everyone had been ordered to move their things to the other side of the gym and I was the only one left. They helped me move my things over to the new side.
I fell asleep again only to be woken by an even louder roar of voices. I was tapped on the shoulder by a friend who said "Wakey Wakey! Eggs and bacy!" As I turned my head towards him I said "what's going on?". He responded "We just had a commander's call. We're going home tomorrow.". "What/!?!?!" I said jumping up. "Yep, tomorrow 10 am outprocessing. "
So I now write to you on my last night here having expected to be here for two weeks but only staying what will be four days. I had thought that I'd be coming home at least with some extra cash, but realize now that I have spent about the same amount I've made on supplies and gas. Nice. It's okay though. It was a great experience and a nice break from what I've been doing.
Take care,
Jason Lee
 Behind me is the empty side of the gym I used to sleep in. | | |
| 27Jun08
Hello my friend,
I am currently sitting on a cot in the middle of the fieldhouse at Quincy University. I'm sleeping next to 400 dudes. Does anyone out there enjoy sausages and festivals? I am here because I've been activated by the state to help with the relief efforts of the flooding situation in West Central Illinois. The sleeping bag they issued me smells like doo doo and there is very little to do here. It's very cold in this gym but I don't think I wanna sleep in the feces bag. I bought a small blanket at Walgreens for eight dollars where a local Asian kid worked as the cashier. I turned to my friend and whispered... "yooooo.... I'm not aalooooonnee"... "yayeahhhhh". I wanted to make friends with him because one, I might score some home cooked Chinese food, and two, because I'm really bored.
Among the sausage festivities are eating, sleeping,....... Most conversations are of small talk about the flood, when we get to go home, or what kinds of jobs, schooling, pets, and families we had to leave back at home. At the same time that the moral is low and people are bitter, there a lots of people who have been hurt by the floods and if anything, this is the first time I've ever felt like I was actually doing something that wasn't for training in my two and a half years in the military. So yayeaaaaahhh for sandbagging! Actually one cool thing did happen here, though I've only heard about it. Some guy was running from the cops and thought it would be a good idea to run through the outside of our gym. Hahaha... through dozens of military guys. Needless to say he got tackled by an Airman and went to jail. Silly.
I've been put on nightshift which means I can retain my normal sleeping schedule. As I packed last night, I contemplated the risk of bringing my laptop here. Now I'm very happy to have brought it because this building has free wifi and I can get some work done.
Perhaps my biggest and only REAL disappointment here is that I have forgotten my beloved pillowcase at my home in Downers Grove. My pillow case is very dear to me... like a security blanket that I am 15 years late to outgrow. I sleep better with it and it reminds me of home. My favorite thing about it is that I can clench the outer frill of it in between my fingers... a habit my grandmother started me on to help me sleep as a kid. If anyone in Downers Grove happens to be coming to Quincy, Illinois, can you please stop by my house and pick up my pillow case for me?
Thanks,
Jason Lee
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| Dear Diary,
Laughing out loud.
Dear Friends,
I rarely mention the current events of my life on these internet blogs. Mostly, I'm not sure people really care to read about it. However, I will share a little today in hopes that someone reading might actually make it to the end.
In my current situation, I am working on a summer film project titled, The Chains of Attraction (2008). Currently, it is script writing time, and I wake up each day in the afternoon, eat, watch tv, check emails and facebook, perhaps host a visiting friend, watch a movie, and then work on my scripts. I am a little nervous because a project like this has so much possibility to flop. However, I wake up each day very thankful for such an opportunity. I do not want to miss the possibilities that a project like this holds, though, the success of a film is not very much like normal school in which it seems the harder one works and studies eventually pays off in the grades. No, I very much rely on the support of my friends, family, and relative peers to bring the final product to its relative success. However, the "success" of the project is not really my concern. Rather, I just want to create something I am happy with, that will do some good for the face of Asian American, other minority groups, and those that will eventually become involved in the process. This has all been a very rewarding experience. Since there is no film program at my university, this independent study has allowed for me to gain experience in the technical aspects of film that students in California or New York have. It's a great way to experience film production from soundtrack to editing, to networking and writing.
It has occurred to me that a few of my friends have noticed my hermit-like behavior. I suppose as a consequence of my work, I barely leave my apartment and I am up at odd hours of the day. I am not living at home and most of my college friends have gone to their respective homes in suburbia. Thus, it is easy to stay in all day. It has been good for my focus and concentration.
Specifically, I write about this time as a time for me to be alone. I am not sure if it's "a guy thing", or if it's because of my time in Air Force training, but every once in a while I find an overwhelming need to be... alone (in general). And people worry about me... some... even try harder to reach out to me, as if... something is wrong. As if... I'm living an extremely unhealthy lifestyle.
Speaking about my film project, which talks about love and attraction, I believe one of the hardest things for girls to understand is a guy's need to be alone. Many times, as a guy becomes more distant, they think something is wrong. They become worried that he has become disinterested and therefore reach out harder, lavishing more attention, and trying to force herself to become more a part of his life. However, I feel it to be healthy for someone to be alone.. To have time to think without commitment to other things and people.
I also don't believe this to be a "guy" thing. I think everyone has a yearning for this every once in a while.
You know while I was in training, I yearned everyday for some time alone... to think... to write... to meditate on what God was doing with me. Do we not all go about our lives in an individual way? They say our experiences are what helps us to grow, but I do believe we really grow when we take time to come to conclusions about life, ourselves, and God as we meditate upon those experiences.
Let's live! Let's make the most out of each day!... but let's take some time to think about what we have done and what we are doing. I'm afraid I'll blind myself with constant activities, work, and studies. As I study film, it is easy to get caught up in creating entertaining media, but I never want to get to a point where I've lost why I got into it in the first place. There is influence in media... in the way film captures the minds and hearts of the audience.. and I do not want mine to become negative to my community and those I represent.
Anyway,
Take care,
Jason Lee
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| We as Asian Americans are held to a higher standard because of the expectations of both sides of our compound identities, as well as the simplifying stereotypes the media has produced. We must be careful to consistently drive just a little better, to parallel park in just one try, and to never find ourselves the slowest on the road. Kung Fu is a very respectable art form. Kung Fu (1986) stars a white guy. The pseudo karate chop is a familiar tap upon our shoulders. It would be nice to eventually find a haircut unlike those of Bruce, Jet, or Jackie's. Though we are rather limited by hair that grows out like a koosh ball. Bruce Lee did a great thing to get Asians into substantial roles in film, but created a few more stereotypes for the next generation to deal with. The Asian American male actor now has no genetalia and better include martial arts on his acting resume. I wonder if traditional Chinese dresses are still stylish for the Asian American female or if people think they're what Asian American women usually wear. Hong Kong Phooey is a somewhat racist cartoon. It stars a crime fighting katate dog. Asians are presumed to eat Hong Kong Phooeys. Chop Suey was made in America. People in Asia have never tried it. There is little to tell us what to do, only assumptions for what we actually do. Thus we are a little more self aware when we eat food from "Panda Express." We are quick to express we were born here when our nationalities are questioned. We wonder if there are too many Asians at the same social gathering and then comment upon the fact that there are too many Asians at the same social gathering. Our parents do not understand our lifestyles, which emulate those of the hegemonies. The "Hegemonies" will be the term for those that are part of the hegemonic race. The hegemonies do not understand our lifestyles, which emulate those of the Chinamen. "Chinamen" will be the term for any of us and will especially be used by caucasians sixty-five or older. I have never been to China, but i hear they eat dog there. Hong Kong Phooey was American. We have similar struggles as a Pan-Asian community, but we often deal with them as individuals. But maybe that's it. We are all tired of being grouped into this multi-ethnic category and are fighting to individualize ourselves. We are the only race to be found in any non-Asian culture from hip hop to skateboarding. I urge us to inhabit our place within the American gaze and create movement within. We will define our own culture as a generation of compound identities unbound from the image of Long Dok Dong or Suzie Wong and replaced by the faces of great leaders and role models who impact communities outside our own. It all starts with a higher standard and an awareness of our compound identities as one singular indentity.
Jason Lee
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